I yearn to become the fire, to burn and flicker and dance and disappear, 
You are near,
I yearn to become the mountains and feel my solid grounding, ancient and still, 

I yearn to fly like a flock of birds, flowing with my inner knowing in creative formation, seeds of destiny sowing, 

I yearn to experience deeply, to be wild, with you, with all humans,

I yearn to have the experience of becoming a rainbow and shining all colours shamelessly,
I yearn to live dangerously,
I yearn to experience the deep softness and beauty of a union which exists beyond time and that transcends the mind, I yearn for the crazy and the sublime.

There was a time when all was lost, 
The pain cut so deep, 
The Earth we forgot,
Of this violent wound we were born, 
Of this self destruction, 
This living porn, 
Out of this guilt and shame for what we had done, 
We punish ourselves, 
Forgot that we are love, 
There was a time when the Earth was friend, 
Those Ancestors now their hands they lend, 
Their hearts so much bigger than the cross, 
So much bigger than all that was lost, 
Let us bow in front of the sacred heart, 
In front of the mother, 
The river, 
The Forest, 
Now may we depart, 
From the darkness that never belonged to us, 
From the unresolved trauma of crusade that has for centuries crippled us, 
May we remember that the only evil is inside of us, 
Waiting to be loved by us, 
May we support one another to wake up, 
May the angels descend and bless us, 
May the beauty of both earth and religion become an unfolding movement of beauty that pours out from within us, May we call upon the gentle light of the sacred heart of the earth to draw out of us, a love that was long forgot, 

May we remember who we are, 
May we live this joy until death, 
May we melt into forever together, 
For we all belong to each other, 
Bowing in honour of the mother. 

Anu Azrael

I am human, sometimes twisted in your eyes, 
only a stepping stone upon which you pass by, 
I give you this heart and tolerate your lies, 

This innocent beating beauty that was given by the first moments of life,
Shaped by shadows and broken in places,
somehow still manages to find light,
Bathed in gentle kindness and soothing whispers, 

I return tonight, 
Like the hooting of the owl, 
Or starlight, 
I return to life, 
Glistening like daylight, 
I am human, sometimes twisted by your eyes, 
a stepping stone to the wide expanse of open sky, 
We return tonight, 
Like rivers meeting the ocean, 
Or twinkling starlight.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5l1w4a1ETkNaSM2h37Mp4x?si=P-miZUwFTVyAQ4X2YwBY5g 
I wrote this poem in response to the movie 'Disconnect' which also happens to have an amazing soundtrack. 

Envelope me in your fluid embrace, 

erase my face, 

my birth place and my race, 

burn my past and leave no trace for I am nothing but this infinite dance of colour shining from across your page, 

red, pink, orange and white, 

I am flickering beauty sparkling right before your eyes, 

oh sacred opening I bow tonight in your honour, 

I pray to come fully alive from the inside, 

I am inside your inside bathing in light, 

breathing pleasure expanding so vastly we go interstellar, remembering yellow, 

warming me, 

telling me that pleasure and passion belong together, 

the earth and the sky beating forever.

Life came to me like a ray of sunlight miraculously breaking through a black night, 
Like an egg slowly breaking open into light, 
Like an uncontrollable tear streaming down a blessed face, 
Angels sing in chorus, 
Life came to me like this, 
Out of darkness as seed I grew, 
Germinating, 
A fertile hunger for life breaking through, 
Life came to me like an owl gliding gracefully upon a turbulent breeze, 
Life battles fought and won, 
Now fluid ease, 
Life came to me and whispered in my ear, 
“Love yourself and I will love you, punish yourself and I will burden you with fear”, 
Life came to me and forced me to let go, 
Forced me into a place where I had to admit I didn’t and don’t know, 
Life comes to me on the backs of wild horses and tall trees, 
Life comes to me in open skies, 
Life comes to me right now as I see the beauty in your eyes, 
Life comes to me as I speak these words true, 
Life comes to me, 
Life passes through, 
Now life comes to you.  

Glistening, 
I am carried, 
As I rest upon the soulful murmurings of her watery heart, 
undulating restfully in the stillness somewhere between east and west, 
silvery nectars dancing sparkles of splaying sunlight, a call to prayer, 
the vastness of the blue sky, 
a deep mystery like magnetic gravitas pulling me slowly into her homely embrace, 
the vastness of the sky and a close warm embrace, 
it is between these poles that you will find us dancing, whirling, smiling and turning, 
for we are the warriors of deep water, 
we are inside of you and far beyond the limits of your mind, 
we reside in a place where only your imagination can find, 
Listening, 
I hear the call, 
I bow in honour of the water that has birthed us all, 
for we are born from tears of joy and pain, 
born from wonderous oceans and plentiful rains, 
from a raging storm and magical stillness, 
from our frozen dreams we awake into this amazing pilgrimage, 
that is our lives, every moment a privilege.. 
Glistening, 
I am carried.

A song which gives rise and rebirth, 
what was once heavy and immoveable becomes light and whirling like a thousand ballerinas drawn into a heavenly light, 
a crack has appeared in this thick darkness that once felt like everything, 
now I see its just a moment in time, 
my gaze intently focused on the golden light pouring through the crack in the sky and together we rise, 
together we dance, 
together we fight, 
together we become one with the light.

Stand tall and be still, 
When the sky is falling and sunlight is finding only impenetrable shadows, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the plan has taken its last breath and you find yourself looking into the eyes of death, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the hurricane screams & the tsunami threatens to shatter your dreams, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When hope is far and all seems lost, 
When the desire to collapse seems to outweigh the cost, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the fire rages and who you think you are turns to smoke and ash, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the glass cracks, the fever breaks, your muscles ache, 
When the ground is trying to swallow you, 
Stand tall on a rock and be still, 
When you are stalked by hungry beasts, 
when you have nothing to eat, 
when bailiffs are banging on your door, 
letters from debt collectors mountainous on your floor, 
when it feels like every inch of life is asking you for more, more, more. 
Remain silent and listening, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When exhaustion hits and everything you have been holding starts weighing you down, 
Let it all go… 
stand tall and be still, 
When the fireworks of excitement and distraction come knocking on your door, 
Wave and smile from your window, 
Mouthing the words clearly, “Thank you but NO”, 
When feelings rise and tears rush from your eyes, 
Don’t go into it, 
Welcome the feelings and stand tall and be still, 
When the sun rises and your newborn is crying, 
Lift them to the sky… 
Stand tall and be still, 
When your heart, your only one takes her last breath, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When the sun sets, 
Stand tall and be still, 
When its time to leave this world no regrets, 
Stand tall and be still, 
Stand tall and be still, 
Stand tall and be still, 
All of us together, 
Standing tall and being still.

I am this beauty, 
pouring and flowing through time and space, 
the texture of melted silk, 
crying and smiling, 
sailing across the ocean with no destination, 
just a heart that longs for something it has never known, 
just the feeling that I am not alone, 
mothered by music and melancholic moments, 
like a rose being carried by a river home, 
I call upon you life to unfold me, 
open my truth and carry me, 
show me my destiny, 
I trust you, 
I am listening, 
the first word that appears is hurt, 
I am hurt and this is not the last time that I will ever love and be broken open, life has a plan that will be revealed in time, 
this is my unfolding, 
this is my truth opening, 
rawness reveals itself in sunlight and service, 
My hands unfurl into a humble offering, 
This is my prayer, 
I turn now towards you life, 
I turn away from suffering and strife, 
I awaken to serve, 
I turn into light, 
This... is my life.

Listening To Life 

As I listen to life, as I receive from life, I become more present in my life. 
As I listen to life, as I receive life and as life receives me, I grow more alive. 
As I listen to life, growing in presence and growing in aliveness, my love grows, my heart swells and I energetically grow in size, the bigger I get, the more easily I can integrate difficult experiences and accept things as they are without the need to fight.  As I bow in honour of the power of life, surrendering my desires to the light of life and trusting that she knows best what comes next, all tension dissolves and I am carried on the crest of her beautiful waves.  

What stops me from moving forward in life? When I think I know better than life and feel that what I desire and dream is more important than what life wants for me, this is a kind of arrogance that can only lead to illness and suffering.  All physical and psychological illness is a symptom of fighting with life.  All issues and problems are symptoms of not listening to and respecting life. 

Why do I stop listening to life if it is harmful to me?  
Why do I take myself so important, thinking that what I want is more important than what life wants?  Not listening to life and inflating the ego self is actually a survival strategy against feeling out of control, it is something we both develop and are conditioned with through personal and collective trauma.  It is very hard for us to accept that we are not in control of what happens to us mainly because we are afraid of dying and as long as we remain in the illusion of control then we will avoid facing our fear of death.  

When we are afraid of something or someone and we actively avoid facing that fear we actually bind ourselves even more deeply to that person or thing.  That which we reject we become.  So through rejecting death we all become unconsciously bonded with the unresolved traumas of our dead ancestors. We are often afraid to really live our lives fully for fear of being disloyal to the patterns in our family.  So we attempt to stay close to our family through making the same mistakes that they have but it does not bring success and happiness to our lives, nor does it help our family.  Rather than living more fully and freely out of our own life energy centres we often stay entangled in this negative loyalty to their mistakes, living out of these trauma patterns without even realizing it.  Playing out the past again and again in all kinds of relationships, trying to fulfil the unrealised dreams of parents & grandparents rather than living our own lives.